Should I Elope? The Pros and Cons of Eloping

The past few months have introduced to us a whole new way of living. From virtual happy hours to canceled wedding plans to at-home proposals and everything in between, the way we interact with our friends and family has changed dramatically. While many of these changes have been difficult to deal with, there are a few that we hope are here to stay. It’s given us the opportunity to spend time with our loved ones that we might not otherwise have spent with them, to connect (or reconnect) with friends around a common struggle, and to re-evaluate what things and people take up the most space and importance in our lives.

And while many of us have unfortunately had to reschedule plans for big parties or celebrations, such as weddings, others have done so while still realizing that the most important part of this celebration can still happen: marriage. Elopement-style weddings are apparently on the rise, and we don’t expect that rate to fall any time soon. If you’ve been thinking about eloping with your partner, here are a few of the pros and cons to help you make your decision.

Pro: It’s financially brilliant

To no one’s surprise, throwing a full-out wedding party can lead to one expensive bill. In fact, the average wedding costs around $34,000, according to a study done in 2019 by CNBC. Many couples are realizing that by eloping, they can put that money toward other expenses, such as the engagement ring, wedding rings, honeymoon, or even a down payment on a new home.

Con: Your family might feel let down

It’s not uncommon for many couples to feel as though their wedding is, in a way, a performance for their family and friends. The excited mother-of-the-bride is a common trope in movies for a reason: many parents dream of the day their child ties the knot. Depriving friends and family of this experience can often make a couple feel selfish, but remember — it’s your marriage, not theirs.

Pro: Less stress and pressure

Especially because of the big price tag, traditional weddings can introduce a lot of stress into a relationship. At a time when a couple should be celebrating their love, they are often found arguing, bickering, or feeling an enormous amount of pressure as they plan out their big day. Choosing to elope allows you to simply enjoy your engagement and nuptials, without the worries that can come along with wedding planning.

Con: There’s no one to share your joy with

Celebrating your marriage with the people you love is one of the biggest reasons why many couples decide to throw a wedding party. By eloping, you miss out on all the fun that comes along with getting to celebrate with the people who have been there to see your relationship progress, and the ones with whom you would love to share your excitement.

Pro: It’s truly about you

Skipping out on the pomp and circumstance, and especially not having to “share” your time on your wedding day with long-lost relatives whose names you can’t remember, does have one big pro: You get to actually spend time with your sweetheart. Putting the focus back on the two of you means you can take your time basking in the glow of being newlyweds, without worrying about when the cake is coming out or whether the DJ got your song list in time.

Con: It’s not as big of a deal

This could be seen as a pro or con, depending on how you feel about it. If you decide to elope, your wedding may not seem like a “big deal” to everyone around you. This means fewer wedding gifts, fewer congratulations, and, most importantly, fewer eyes on you and your honey. For some, this can be a blessing in disguise — but for others, you may feel a bit sad that you didn’t get to have your moment in the sun.

Choosing what’s right for you

Ultimately, the decision to elope really depends on how you and your partner feel about it. The good news is there are so many ways to celebrate! You can choose to do a private elopement with just the two of you and a big wedding later in the year, or a small ceremony with just your close friends and family. Maybe you love the idea of eloping but can’t handle skipping out on a wedding dress. No problem! What you wear, where you do it, and how you celebrate can be personalized to your heart’s content. The most important thing is you’re getting married to the love of your life, and what could be better than that?

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